Identity Crisis

This should’ve been posted a couple weeks ago, but due to a relative lack of time, a sprinkling of procrastination, and new development, it hasn’t been finished until today. Anyhow, a couple weeks back while I was living momentarily at a friend’s apartment while waiting for mine to be readied, my friend’s community advisor (CA), Crystal, came knocking. Evidentially she was going around doing room inventories before the semester started. She asked me my name and which room I was in and the first thing out of my mouth was, “Ian, Ian Fredenburg.” I figured if I told her the truth there’d be a good chance I’d have the police called on me. Crystal goes on to ask some more personal questions, all of which I know the answer to instantly due to living with Ian during the summer. She finishes and leaves to go and inventory the other apartments, leaving me to flopping on the couch, asking myself how in the hell the ruse worked so well being rather spur of the moment after a couple shots of Bacardi 151. We see each other in the halls the following weeks, smiling and exchanging pleasantries and all of that good stuff.

Well, a couple weeks I move out of Ian’s apartment and he comes back to school. He tells me a week or two ago that he finally meets the CA and lets her know who he is. A confused look comes over her face and she tells him that she’ll need to do a new inventory sheet since “someone else” signed it earlier. I think I’ll pat myself on the back for a job well done for this one.

♪…WHO ARE YOU? WHERE YA BEEN? WHERE YA FROM?
GOSSIP BURNING ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE
YOU LIE SO MUCH YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF
JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED YOURSELF…♪

Song of the Moment: “Holier Than Thou” by Metallica