Monday, July 11, 2005

Stupid people and bad jokes

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes North latitude, and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes West longitude."

She rolled her eyes, and said, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help to me."

The man smiled, and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am!" replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You do not know where you are, or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's all my fault."

Okay, you democrats are very clever and funny, however what the fuck are you doing in a boat 2346 ft above sea level, are you on a fucking tidal wave? You suck at jokes retards.


At Mon Jul 11, 10:04:00 AM EDT, Blogger Danger said...


Due to a small amount of research, I've managed to check that the democrat was in a boat on a river in Texas. A bit more checking revealed that the area around the given co-ordinates is about 2,300 feet above sea level.

Remember Jack, when you ASSume, you make an ass of...well, mostly yourself, I guess.

At Mon Jul 11, 11:44:00 AM EDT, Blogger Jack and Coke said...

I show topography at 3000 feet for Merzton but no river within 5 miles of those coordinates

At Mon Jul 11, 12:45:00 PM EDT, Blogger Dave/Scott said...

Screw Democrats and Republicans! The American party system is fooked beyond repair.

At Sat Jul 23, 10:40:00 AM EDT, Blogger Shin Splint said...

It's stupid to think someone would be flying a balloon without knowing the GPS coodinates of at least one location they could always go to if they get lost.

Meaning it's stupid to think a balloon flyer wouldn't find their current GPS coordinates useful.


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